Oh, Jim. Jim, Jim, Jim. This just devastates me in so many ways.
"We undressed and he kissed me. It was the first time in my life that a kiss meant what it was supposed to mean — it sent me through the roof. I was like a man emerging from 44 years in a cave to taste pure air for the first time, feel direct sunlight on pallid skin, warmth where there had only ever been a bone-chilling numbness... I pulled him to the bed and we made love like I'd always dreamed: a boastful, passionate, whispering, masculine kind of love."
--excerpt from Former Governor James "Gay American" McGreevey's new book
I'm not devastated for the reasons you might think. I'm glad that Governor McGreevey found love. Whispering, masculine, gay, gay love. And I feel sorry that, at what was certainly an already difficult and terrible time in his life, McGreevey's lover then tried to blackmail him. That was wrong. No, it isn't McGreevey's sweet homosexual romance-on-the-rocks that upsets me so much.
It's that he didn't bust out any of the homoerotic hotness when he spoke at my college graduation, three years ago.
McGreevey, I feel so betrayed by you. You got up on stage and rambled for over 25 minutes without ever forming one complete thought. Your speech was a poorly-constructed sham, heavy on quotes from Machiavelli (of all people!), chasing itself in time-killing circles and never drawing a single conclusion about how we, the class of 2003, should conduct ourselves as we left the halls of academia and entered the cold, cruel world. And now I discover that, deep inside, you were harboring a narrative that reads like the love child of Anais Nin and Penthouse Letters?
What about our needs, Jim? What about the sea of hung-over graduates who stood before you on that day, desperately hoping for erudite, original, even entertaining words to fall sweetly on our overeducated ears? Where was your boastful passion then, JIM?! What about our own pallid skin-- skin that yearned for the warmth of a graduation speech as it was meant to be?!!!
Of course, I understand now that you were suffering the torments of your own demons, borrowing the words of Machiavelli and others, because all of your own were stolen by a love that dare not speak its name.
But seriously, your speech? Just one reference to the "tormented tenseness of his tumescent manhood" would have made that sucker fly.
1 comments:
Hey, I was there for that! And yeah, it wasn't a very good speech. Didn't seem to have much substance. I remember being more impressed by some student who spoke. That said, I was impressed by McGreevey's voice. He really knows how to like project or whatever...
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