I wasn’t really sure whether to bring this up, since I’m pretty sure that most people come here looking for insight about geostationary bananas made of paper mache and/or Leigh Lezark, and not for updates on my personal life. But since it means abandoning a standby blogging topic, it gets a brief mention. So here it is.
If you read regularly (hey, you three!), and if, in your regular reading, you noticed that Dave isn’t making his usual appearances, and if, noticing that, you thought to yourself, HEY, did they…?
Yes, we did.
If you want to know why, then just imagine the most horrible, scandalous, soul-ripping relationship atrocity ever committed. Now, multiply that by 100, and add some, like, barnyard animals, and a lot of screaming and hair-pulling and maybe a knife fight. Ok? Now you may as well just stick with whatever it is you’ve conjured up, because it is vastly more interesting than what actually happened.
Which is, we broke up. And then we ordered a pizza. And then, a couple hours later, I went home carrying my deodorant and toothbrush in a tote bag.
Ok, that's it. To make up for the total anticlimactic-ness of this post, here is a picture of some cactuses (or cacti) wearing hats.
If you read regularly (hey, you three!), and if, in your regular reading, you noticed that Dave isn’t making his usual appearances, and if, noticing that, you thought to yourself, HEY, did they…?
Yes, we did.
If you want to know why, then just imagine the most horrible, scandalous, soul-ripping relationship atrocity ever committed. Now, multiply that by 100, and add some, like, barnyard animals, and a lot of screaming and hair-pulling and maybe a knife fight. Ok? Now you may as well just stick with whatever it is you’ve conjured up, because it is vastly more interesting than what actually happened.
Which is, we broke up. And then we ordered a pizza. And then, a couple hours later, I went home carrying my deodorant and toothbrush in a tote bag.
Ok, that's it. To make up for the total anticlimactic-ness of this post, here is a picture of some cactuses (or cacti) wearing hats.
7 comments:
can i have your # to ask you out on a date
Yeah, me too. Are my chances improved because I don't post anonymously?
I want to say two things: one, I'm sorry it came to that, I was starting to like Dave even if the whole poison hot dog thing didn't work out. Two: Woohoo! About goddamn time.
And if it makes you feel better, I once took a (soon-to-be-ex) girlfriend out for a nice dinner after she told me she'd been cheating on me for six months. I know, I know....
Finally, and seriously -- are you ok?
I'd blame the cacti for the break-up. Sounds like they got between you and Dave.
Seriously, I'm jealous. If I could gracefully exit relationships like that, I'd be much happier.
You know, she's actually quite ok. You see, I caught her in bed with a 15 year old boy. That was the end of that.
Damn that Potter!
Did you really break up and then order a pizza together? This sounds like one of those unrealistically mutual and pleasant breakups that only happens in the movies. I suspect that one of you became either morbid, violent, manic, or some combination of the three.
Dave, I confess I'm glad to hear that Harry Potter got some action. Did he get the awkward "downtown train" question? Just asking.
Kat, I guess I've been reading you too long.
Those aren't hats, those are cups. And those aren't cactuses, they're spikey-headed aliens that have come to take over our planet. But more importantly, Dave is a fool. (For breaking up with you, that is. In case that point wasn't clear enough...)
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