A series of events for Wednesday, April 11.
7:45am: Drag self out of bed.
8:00-8:30am: Watch Good Day New York American Idol recap; discuss the Sanjaya Enigma, Sanjaya’s moustache, other contestants’ poor choice of hats with boyfriend; drink coffee.
8:45am: Get dressed in newly-laundered skirt, shirt, socks.
9:00-9:05am: Apply lipstick, put on boots; check self out in bathroom cabinet-mirror; leave apartment.
9:30am: Arrive at work.
9:30-10:45am: Create press release outline.
10:50am: Make bathroom trip.
10:51am: Pass bathroom mirror; give self casual once-over; continue toward stalls.
10:51:05am: Register terrible problem; return immediately to mirror.
10:52am: Stare at own reflection; attempt to convince self that shirt is not really see-through.
10:53am: Attempt to remember if shirt was transparent upon purchase.
10:54am: No, it was not.
10:54:30am: But it definitely is now.
10:55am: And you can see EVERYTHING.
10:56am: Maybe the fabric partially disintegrated in the wash.
10:56:05am: Violent swearing.
10:57am: Go into stall; pee; think.
10:58am: Vow to hide in cubicle for remainder of day.
11:00am: Email arrives from 50 year-old male boss requesting urgent, immediate meeting.
11:00:01am: Panic; one cannot meet with 50 year-old male boss when one’s unmentionables are showing.
11:01am: Sprint down hallway at 100 mph to borrow blazer from friend.
11:05am : Meet with boss; wear blazer.
11:10am-12:00pm: Continue to write press release; wear blazer.
12:00-12:30pm: Eat lunch; wear blazer.
12:30-5:30pm: Work contentedly; wear blazer.
5:35pm: Feel overheated; remove blazer.
5:36pm: Bring press release revisions to 50 year-old male boss for review.
5:36:05pm: Feel cold.
5:36:06pm: Realize that blazer is left behind at desk.
5:36:07pm: Realize that 50 year-old male boss is starting bemusedly at clearly-visible green lace bra showing through nearly-transparent shirt.
5:36:08pm: Cross arms over chest.
5:37pm: Leave 50 year-old male boss’ office; do not mention shirt transparency problem.
5:37:05pm: Ignore snickering sounds coming from 50 year-old male boss’ office.
5:38-5:45pm: Smack forehead against keyboard.
**Update: Since you guys asked, my shirt was teal-colored. And while I agree that there are times when a see-through shirt can look intentionally-- or even, stylishly-- transparent... well, this was not one of those times. To help you, I've created some MS Paint renderings of the situation (they're illustrative and not entirely accurate, which is to say, they're a lot cuter than me.)
This is how my outfit would have appeared if my shirt had been doing its job:
And this, though perhaps ever-so-slightly exaggerated, is what it actually looked like:
Note that you can see not only my bra, but the demarcation between skirt and stomach, and my navel piercing (which is, like ohmigod, soooo Britney Spears circa 1999, but which I can never remove because my stomach looks too weird without it.)
6 comments:
This is important...what colour was the shirt that was faking the green lacy bra cover-up?
Really, because depending on the color, it could be that it was supposed to look that way, and might have looked cute.
I feel the same way about my belly button ring. Sometimes when I wear tighter shirts I know it shoes through, so I feel odd at times in the professional environment. Sadly enough, I still love my belly button piercing.
Anyway, you might have a point about your outfit. Great illustrations, though!
Good job on the illustrations! And a very funny post, as always. And hi, girls.
Also: ditto on my bellybutton ring. 'cept i got mine in 2000. I don't have ears pierced though.
It's okay, at least you were wearing a bra? It's trendy, right? Like, they did it on Sex and the City [a long time ago[]?
Ah, that doesn't seem like that big of a deal. At least you were wearing a bra. And you're beautiful too, so I'm sure no one minded it. Nice illustrations, btw.
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