If, by some chance, the internets have not yet clued you in to the presence of the "She-nis" -- a big, plastic, penis-esque apparatus specifically designed to allow women to pee standing up -- I'm about to do you the favor. Because really, and be honest, haven't you (you, girls, that is) ever just hated how guys can just pound a bunch of beers, and then 30 minutes later, unload it all against a brick wall somewhere without a care in the world?
Sometimes I think of the spontanaeity with which I might have been able to live my life, had I been able to simply drink fluids without ever having to worry about finding a private place to excrete them afterward, and I cry. So many drunken camping trips/concerts/walks along the Harlem River at sunset that I've missed out on... so many long car rides I never took... I weep.
Anyway, the girls over at Jezebel (each and every one of whom I want to be BFF with, but especially Moe -- Moe, I love you!) got together and tried out the She-nis. Together. On a rooftop in Brooklyn. Just watch it, already -- the video is probably the funniest thing I've ever seen in at least a month.
However, and I know I'm not alone in this, I've noticed at least a few tragic flaws that may limit the usability of the Shenis to drunken rooftop sessions with friends.
1) It looks like a penis.
Seriously, literally, looks like a penis. It has a head, for chrissakes, as though the form of the damn thing were somehow more pivotal to its acceptability for use than its function.
2) But, the penis is olive green.
So it's not so much "oh this looks like a penis", as "damn, did this thing spend a night in the trenches or WHAT?" Off the top of my head, maybe it needs to be green so that drunken club-girls don't mistake it for an Actual Penis and start grabbing at it/trying to pull on it in the hopes that doing so will get them some free coke, which brings me to point #3:
3) Also, it's huge.
This is the kind of penis that would, if it were real, and if one were to begin swinging it around in a bar bathroom, cause a great deal of excitement for the assembled populace of sex-crazed city girls. It's just gigantic. Which is great, if you only acquired the Shenis for the purpose of pulling it conspicuously out of your purse and waving it around for attention.
Not so great, however, if you want to quietly carry it in your purse for emergencies.
So... comment poll. The Shenis -- Awful? Useful? Genius Idea in Desperate Need of Redesign? Let me hear you.
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6 comments:
"Did this thing spend the night in the trenches?"
That phrase is worth stealing. Well done.
Now, I recall seeing something similar to the Shenis on the Today Show maybe 15 years ago, and I recall the interviewer challenging it as offensive to women. She seemed to feel it implied...well, she didn't phrase it this way but I'll summarize as "urologically inferior." And, really, unless the terrain or foliage or a knee injury is against one, squatting in the woods would be fine. True enough, that device from Today was marketed for camping but didn't at all resemble a penis. It had a shallow cup similar to the Shenis but instead of a giant olive cock outlet it was a short, hollow angled stem (arguably much more like a penis than the farcical Shenis).
-cK
in regards to the size of the shenis- while many men get by with somewhat smaller appendages, they do so with years of diligent practice and effort. these ladies were unable to keep the golden shower off their toes with a foot-long green schlong- doubt they could get by with with the 6-inch model. also: I mean, really, if you're going to go for it, for god's sake- go big.
personally, i would use this http://whizzy4you.com/ instead... i think the she-nis is a little scary.
It has been said that I will go for ANYTHING that is khaki...well no more. I'm so disturbed by the Shenis' hue that I may have to avoid the Army and Navy store for the rest of my life...
The concept is intriguing, but I think the Shenis is just scary. I guess I will have to continue to pee sitting down.
You see, this is why I love your blog. It really opens up your mind to different possibilities that you've maybe never considered before.
Anyway, I think the reason why they made it look like a real penis is that probably a lot of girls they talked to didn't just want to be able to pee standing up, but also wanted to know what it was like to have a penis. I often wonder what it would be like to have breasts and a vagina, so I can totally understand that curiosity. As far as the size an color, I think they should have all sorts of different sizes and colors to fit the preferences of the girls who use them. Personally, I doubt many people would complain about a 12 inch long olive green penis, but we shouldn't look at this as a one size fits all sort of thing. I mean, every girl's inner penis is different.
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