Peebiscuit

Last night, a reader sent me what is by far the most extraordinary piece of email that my blog has ever received.

Its subject line was "undergarments?".
The text is below.
I cannot stress strongly enough the importance of not trying to read this while drinking anything.

Ready?

Okay.

To: pink.india.ink@gmail.com
Fr: [redacted]
Subject: undergarments?

My horse and I do competitive long distance riding....25 to 35 miles at a pretty fast rate of speed. I am now finding that my saddle is becoming wetter with each ride...urine leakage, and am not really aware of what is happening until I am quite wet! I wear tights on these rides and am trying to find a pull on brief that will absorb, fit well, breathe, and most of all not be noisy! I would prefer not to advertise my problem to fellow riders. Does anyone have a garment in mind that might fit this description?

Thanks,

Soggy in the Saddle

If you are currently sitting at your computer either a) openmouthed and blinking rapidly, or b) unable to breathe, then we are on the same page.

Because I confess: at first, I thought this was some sort of joke. My God, I thought to myself, now they are just FUCKING WITH ME.

But then, after poking around a bit, I concluded that this email is, shockingly, NOT fake. Rather, it is a bona fide plea for help from someone who -- as a result of this post, I'm guessing -- considers me qualified to offer expertise in the area of... well, let's face it, we're talking about adult diapers here, aren't we.

Which I know nothing about.

Honestly, I'm kind of disappointed. Not that I don't have personal experience with adult diapers -- I'm perfectly content to put that off for as long as possible -- but because I have no useful advice to offer, and an internet search for "adult diapers ratings" only brought up 1) a lame ePinions page without much concrete info, and 2) this, which is hilarious, but ultimately unhelpful.

So, Soggy in the Saddle -- do you mind if I call you SITS? It seems so much friendlier, don't you think? -- if you're reading, please hang tight. I've posted your email, not out of any malicious desire to mock you, but in the hope that one of my readers might have the knowledge that I, unfortunately, lack.

Readers, it's on you. If you have some experience with incontinence and can recommend a pee-proof brief for active adults that is comfortable, doesn't leak ,and, most important, won't make outrageous noises when SITS gets back in the saddle, leave it in the comments.


*Note to anyone who read the previous "unrelated" addendum about my disallowing anonymous comments and was worried: I was kidding. It was meant to be a ironic joke given that I'd just asked you all to tell me about your problems with incontinence. But it appears that I didn't write it very well, so I have removed it. Just to clarify: Anonymous comments will forever and always be allowed on pink india ink, so says the proprietress, Amen.