One of the nice things about blogging, as many who do it will tell you, is that it can facilitate real-life relationships. Case in point: one of my very favorite NYC friends and first-pick shopping companion is also the cultured voice behind Dilettantsia.
Unfortunately, not every reader I meet in real life turns out to be my new best-friend-forEVAH. Case in point: this weekend.
On Friday night I went to a party where I met another blogger -- a Blogger-with-a-capital-B, one of the ones who actually gained a loyal following of readers and parlayed it all into a book deal. After introducing myself and telling him I liked his writing, he said, "So, what blog do you write?"
"Pink india ink," I said, and then, feeling a little embarrassed, added, "But it's not, like, well-known or anything."
To my surprise, though, the Blogger nodded.
"Oh, that one? Yeah, I've read your stuff," he said.
"Really?"
"Yeah, some of it."
I was about to shriek with delight -- I mean, it's not every day that a Gawker-grade celebrity author tells you that they know your work, so to speak -- when he looked me up and down and said, "You're definitely NOT what I expected."
I blinked. "Huh? How?"
"You want me to be honest?"
This is not leading anywhere good, said my inner voice, at the same time as my actual voice said, "Sure, go for it!"
"Well," he said, "I would've expected you to be more..." and then, rather than finishing his sentence, he puffed out his cheeks and spread his hands several feet apart.
It took me a half a beat too long to figure it out.
"Wha... wait, fat? You thought I would be fat?" I stuttered.
"You told me to be honest."
"But... but... why?"
He just shrugged.
The entire exchange left me with a sense of general discombobulation that persisted throughout the weekend, and not just because I can't decide how I feel about it. (I have the sneaking suspicion that it was an obnoxious thing to say, but at the same time, I can't seem to muster the same indignant response that would have resulted if he'd said something like, "I thought you'd be hotter.") I mean, this is part of the deal when it comes to blogging; it's not as though someone has never formed a factually inaccurate opinion of me before, based solely on what's written here.
It's just that I had never stopped to consider that my blog might make me look fat.
Monday, June 23, 2008
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16 comments:
Ugh-- what an asshole! Please, please expose him?
crap.
You think that's bad.
When I was dancing, the new crop of dancers would come in at the beginning of the season and we'd all go through the getting to know and sweating on each other phase. David was not a partner, but a fellow dancer - he was a little younger and kind of green. A month later when we knew each other a little better, he casually turned to me and said, "You know, for the first few weeks, I really thought you were a stuck up bitch."
How do you respond to that?
Uhh, that comment above from David was from me - I guess he was signed into my computer. I need to get out of this office!
Good Christ, why is my Lollie profile and pic not showing up???!!!
yay!
wait, what? that's silly.
[MY MOST UNFAVORITE THING HAPPENED AND BLOGGER ERASED MY COMMENT AND UGH I HAVE TO DO THIS AGAIN AND NO OF COURSE IT WON'T BE NEARLY AS WITTY AS THE FIRST ONE I WROTE]
you must tell me immediately who this is. for as frantic as i get about needing to know secret seeeecrets, i also forget them and - even more regrettably! - forget to spread them right afterwards. so i'm the perfect person to tell secrets. some people may say this makes me less vicious than i like to believe i am. i say this just confirms my drinking problem (the glass of wine in my hand nods its head in agreement).
SO TELL ME. i have two people in mind and i'm sure they're completely wrong.
and for the record. your blog just screams "awesome fuck" to me.
I've heard this happen to a few other bloggers I know. Although usually the reverse "Oh I thought you'd be skinnier/hotter/fill in some thing you aren't enough of". People are mean and suck and clearly have no social graces.
Also, yeah out that asshole.
Fat? Really? Cleary, he never read the post of you in your lingerie :)
Can't say that anything I've ever read of yours conveyed the image in my mind that you were fat.
Now, that is not to say that one's blogging personality doesn't conjure up images of what we may imagine someone to look like, and sadly, I have read blogs and totally envisioned the authors as fat. I know. That's terrible to say.
But, my dear, you were not one of him.
You should've kicked him in the balls and when he shrieked in horror you shoulda told him from what you've read of his work, that you didn't think he had any :)
Am I the only one who envisions all bloggers as young, fit and hot (livejournal is a different story)?
As for this guy, uh, did he not notice the unfat profile photo of you? I think his comments were ... "uncouth". ANd he had to be thinking about a different blog. You do not have a "fat on the inside" voice.
Yes, yes, that would be me running up your sitemeter. You know now that I'm home getting through my Reader and realizing that for most of last week I was about ten total blocks away from telling you I thought you'd be puffier in person.
Which is false because "i've read some of your stuff" and no one outside of Nigella is rotund with those cheekbones and let's be honest,I'd trade with her anyway.
Why don't I think about these opportunities in advance?!
Weird. Your blog doesn't sound like that at all...maybe he was referring to someone else. But still this is a rude thing to say to anyone.
Something similar happened with "TheCompanyBitch" . She met some Editor woman in person, who tells her that she had expected her to be really hot. As a result CB ended up never writing a single blog post again! Sad.
NS (India)
P.S - the engagement pic were super hot!
I have a pretty good idea of who that might have been. At least, I know a capital-B Blogger who I wouldn't put it past to make a comment like that.
If it makes you feel better, a couple years ago I met up with a bunch of bloggers, including a bunch of people you probably know. It was the first time meeting any of them, and at one point in the night one of them mentioned that before meeting me, she thought I was gay.
Was it because you have a good personality and pretty face?
And I thought I was socially retarded, but even I would never say anything like that. Well, unless I hated the person already anyways, then all bets are off.
Whatever, I totally knew you'd be hot.
Also, yes, please tell us who he is...!!
the last thing girls need is blog dysmorphia!
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