Lest anyone has been marveling at my improbable, nay, awesome ability to find a job in our current economic climate, I would like to take a moment to explain what, exactly, said job is.
For the past week, I have been employed on-site at the Long Island headquarters of a Certain Large Corporation, where I spend my days copyediting packages and user manuals.
For consumer electronics products.
In French.
Anyone who is still marveling at my job-securing skills can go ahead and leave the room now.
The company, though I will not name it here, is one which many of you would undoubtedly recognize as the maker of extremely cheap portable CD players and other electronic ephemera which are sold on the shelves of... well, actually, the only place I've ever seen them is at CVS. Behind the counter, next to the condoms. Which, if we're being honest, are probably a better bet for your money when it comes to production quality and durability. (And if we're being really honest, they are probably also better at playing CDs.) However, said company has recently decided to expand their sales to Canada, which is, of course, how I have found myself spending large portions of every day researching the best possible way to express "48-inch High-Definition Flat-Screen Plasma Television" en français.
The job is project-specific and only lasts five weeks, which with any luck means that I will stop working a) having made enough money to support myself for a few weeks while looking for another job, and b) just short of ripping my own face off out of boredom.
In the meantime, though, my days are long, exhausting, rife with Chinese-origin documents written in Engrish and heavily monitored by incredibly humorless Personal Electronics People. Who are already beside themselves at allowing a plebe like me to use their super hi-tech bank of fully-automated employee toilets, much less have full responsibility for getting their products out the door in packaging free of typographical and grammatical errors.
And so, it is with a heavy heart that I must make the following announcement: the daytime blogging at Pink India Ink is on hiatus until the first week of January.
The post-work consumption of several beers followed by incoherent internet rambling, however, is still totally on.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
10 comments:
Felicitations! Au moins tu n'auras pas besoin de manger les nouilles Ramen pendant cinq semaines!
The thought of musical condoms and the possibilities there have had me giggling for about two minutes now. And "eat my shorts"...there's a phrase that's already underused in English. Cheers, dear- to being able to read the fancypants wine labels after work. Or Yellowtail. I assume you can read that as well.
i dunno wether i should feel sorry for you (the job...) or happy (the JOB!!!)...i mean its good that u hav a source of steady income for atleast the next 5 weeks. on the other hand what they make u do for it is seriously unfair for a wonderful writer like you....i hope all this "massacre of the writer" does not go in vain...keep smiling. il try to cope without u during the day.
btw ruhi is my actual name. previously known to u as brickhead (if u read my previous comments)..dont like brickhead..
Might I recommend adding "mangez my culottes" to the copy on at least one CD player?
Hmmm. Maybe on your way back to your homestead post-work, you should stop in to my neighb to help you on your way to your drunken stupor?
For your sake, I'm glad you found work. For our sake, I mourn the loss of your daytime posts.
Quit your job and move in with me
"Chinese-origin documents written in Engrish" = best quote I have read all week.
Hilarious.
I was all, "What? coulottes are in style again? Really? But my thighs look fat in coulottes!" reading this.
I'm easily confused. I barely speak engrish, let alone Francypants French.
Long Island????
I feel for you.
Post a Comment