The LOST Guide to Survival Etiquette

At this point – what with the multiple plot arcs, jumpy narrative, and psychotic time-traveling island – LOST has become hard to watch and even harder to recap. One thing, however, is clear: the struggle for survival and the stresses of everyday life have started to chip away at the manners of the island's inhabitants.

Far be it from me to demand that plane crash survivors sport a jacket and tie, but here on the island, proper attire has gone the way of the dodo. Take Sawyer, for example:

No shirt? No shoes? No problem. It is an island, after all.

No underwear, however – particularly when you've been wearing that pair of filthy, damp jeans since last season -- that, my friend, is a cause for concern. Not only is it a fashion faux pas, but that wet denim is going to cause some terrible chafing on your wiener.

Faraday, meanwhile, is dressed far too formally for the island-casual atmosphere.


Farry, please. The tie. Lose it… or at least loosen it, for crying out loud. You're making the rest of the guests feel uncomfortably underdressed.


Meanwhile, Sawyer finally realizes that the "Chippendales dancer with weenie chafe" look is undermining his position as a leader of the Losties and tries to put a shirt on, but Neil (a.k.a. "Frogurt") has forgotten the basic kindergarten rules for playing nice and chooses instead to make this face:



Neil, what do we do when we aren't playing with our toys? That's right, we share them. So you be polite and share your shirt with Sawyer, and maybe later, he'll let you wear his soiled sexypants.

And then, of course, there is this.

Assorted Losties, I don't care how long you've been stranded, who said what to whom, or how many flaming arrows are flying at you. That bright spot there? Which you are all so diligently ignoring as you rush to the fallen individual in the foreground? That is a person who is running through your midst with his head on fire.

Tsk, tsk, tsk. When the Oceanic 6 come back, I hope you'll be a tad more polite.