Working girl

My job at [unnamed manufacturer of cheapo electronics] was originally meant to last 5 weeks. This, as evidenced by the date of my original post mentioning having been hired for said job, is clearly not the case. Two months later, I'm still here – editing product manuals, proofreading packages, and beginning to feel the slightest twinge of anxiety over having failed to learn the names of most of my coworkers given that I did not expect to see any of them again after January 5th. (As it turns out, referring to everyone as 'Hey, you' starts to attract attention after 30 days.)

The company has been dangling the prospect of continued employment for several weeks now, in the form of various coworkers and supervisory personalities who will pause in the middle of a conversation, look at me very seriously, and say, "And how do you feel about working here?"

This has been happening, on average, every three days.

I've learned that I must respond to these questions with a sort of professionally-restrained enthusiasm, which involves a lot of confident smiling and nodding and vaguely sexual statements like, "I think it's a great fit on both ends!", which would be hilarious except that this is my life we are talking about, God dammit, and I have also learned not to ask questions when this entire exchange is repeated again several days later as though it had never happened before and without anyone ever explicitly telling me that they are thinking of bringing me on full-time.

Needless to say, it's been driving me crazy. If this were a dating relationship, the company would be one of those people who is always turning to you in bed and saying, "If I told you I had herpes, would you still love me?", followed by, "Oh, no reason! Goodnight!", leaving you to lie awake in the dark and wonder if that thing you noticed on your nethers last week was a sore or just an ingrown hair.

And then, on Monday, my supervisor suddenly broke the code of silence, telling me that I should "be on the lookout" for "Jim" to bring me in for a conversation about a full-time position at the company.

And I was thrilled and excited.

Until I realized that this information did not, in fact, move me any closer to actually being employed full-time. And even worse, whereas my previous state of limbo left me unsure about the when, how and who of the whole thing, this new development has given me a single point on which to focus all my worry and anticipation and pent-up angst about being less-than-securely-employed.

I can now be found walking verrrrry slooooowly past Jim's office several times a day, in the hope that he will see me, call me in, and put me out of my misery by giving me a job.

I've also taken to wearing actual business clothes to work, since I do not want to find myself trying to negotiate for salary, vacation and benefits whilst wearing a pair of Chuck Taylors. Although I don't love tripping across the parking lot in heels, I have to say that I do think my Serious Businessperson Outfit is pretty cute:



In case you're wondering: Yes, that is the employee bathroom. No, I'm not ashamed.

A little embarrassed that somebody walked in while I was doing this, maybe. But never, ever ashamed!