From the wire: The Los Angeles County Sheriff’s office has confirmed that Kevin, Nick, and Joe Jonas of the popular pop-rock band, The Jonas Brothers, were arrested early Wednesday morning. Charges have not yet been filed, but sources say that the trio has been implicated in a series of grisly murders that took place in the foothills of Southern California last night.
Palm Springs resident Lisa Polfor, in an interview with a local news crew, described the teen pop idols’ murderous rampage.
“At first, I only heard the chainsaw,” Polfor said. “Then I saw them – they came running out of the brush over there, waving the chainsaw around and screaming some kind of nonsense about kingdoms. My neighbor, Gunnar Hansen… he tried to stop them, and they just cut him down like a pine tree.”
Police confirm that Mr. Hansen, age 62, was among the five victims of the Jonas Brothers’ unexpected violence. The group had cultivated a family-friendly image which will likely suffer in the wake of their arrests.
Another local resident, Justin Kidd, witnessed the trio fleeing the scene. Kidd, 15, confessed to enjoying the group’s music and identified their homicidal shrieking as the lyrics to the recent hit, “A Little Bit Longer”.
“I just can’t believe it,” he said. “I used to listen to their music every single day. Now, every time I hear it, I just want to cry and hit things.”
In a brief statement, the Los Angeles County Sheriff Lee Baca confirmed that the brothers were considered “persons of interest” in the murders, but gave only vague responses to questions as to which of the brothers may have masterminded the attack.
“The one with the eyebrows is of primary concern to us at the moment,” Baca said. “He looks sort of different from the other ones, and that's suspicious. So we’re paying extra close attention to him.”
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Update: Yes, obviously, I am just kidding. April Fools and all. (Sorry guys, but it was either this, or telling my parents I was pregnant.)
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
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6 comments:
I only wish this was true, the world would make a lot more sense than it does now.
Is this your april's fools day prank? Please tell me it is, they're waaayy too feminine ..
Did you hear that Michael Jackson fell over DEAD today?
crazy day.....
Did I mention that I HATE APRIL FOOLS DAY? And pranks, practical jokes, and any sort of surprise. Yeah, I'm a bad sport.
hahaha
you should have told us you were ending the blog! That would have had most of us peeing ourselves.
Next year, perhaps.
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