Earlier this year, SparkNotes asked me to put together a slideshow for their main site on the oh-so-alluring subject of Prom. The topic, specifically, was “Prom Don’ts” – a guide to bad behavior, atrocious apparel, ghastly grooming, and other common mistakes made by young people during this time-honored rite of high school passage.
Given my own, er, unique history with prom, my first urge was to shout, “Prom Don’ts? Prom DON'TS??? I’ll give you a Prom Don’t! How about, ‘Don’t let some big-foreheaded sophomore girl with self-esteem issues and dubious morals take your date to a random spring social right before prom, unless you like the idea of a) being suddenly prom-date-LESS with only a week to go, and b) being forced to watch your piece-of-crap ex-date nuzzling his vomitous two-timing face against her enormous greasy egghead on what is supposed to be the most magical night of your high school career!’ How’s that for a fucking PROM DON’T?!!”
But then, because I am a well-adjusted and mature adult who does not even remember that that ever happened*, I just said, “Ok!”
And I'm so glad I did, because frankly, I'm quite proud of the result. The final slideshow is now live and can be viewed here. Click on through! And not just because you feel sorry for me.
(Incidentally, this also means that I totally do not take inappropriate joy in the fact that Mister Ex-Date later received a karmic comeuppance when he fell down at a track meet and scraped off his entire left nipple. The whole nipple, you guys.)
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9 comments:
Where were you when I needed prom tips?
and it was probably a really REALLY small nipple.
Awesome. (The slide show, not your prom story ... can we share bad prom stories? Mine involved my best friend cheating on her boyfriend that morning with the guy they were sharing a limo with and then TELLING THE BOYFRIEND about 5 seconds before they all climbed into said limo. Needless to say, I spent my senior prom consoling her in the bathroom and stopping flying boy-fists.)
One question though ... Daniel Radcliffe? Really? I mean, I like Harry Potter as much as the next girl, but I don't think I'd put him on my list of Guys I Want My Prom Date to Resemble ;)
I went to Prom with my gay friend - I think he ended up hooking up with someone.
Yay prom.
Ha, loved it. Although...I could think of a few friends that would have been exceptions to a couple of those...but you should always check with a friend before you assume you are an exception. ;)
Well done, very well done.
Did anyone actually have sex on prom night?
Because I sure did not. And isn't that why I paid $40 ticket for my prom ticket?
I'm just curious if I'm alone in this.
This has nothing to do with your post, but I saw you and the hubby in a magazine (maybe Glamour?). Cupcakes in a hot tub sound like a good wedding night to me.
Heh. Neigh.
I really had a stupid prom night and it ended up not memorable at all
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