Briefly

Today, in an effort to feel like a functional and productive human being, I decided to do all the things that functional and productive human beings do. I got up early, bought a coffee, and walked the dog.

Then, I worked until noon.

Then, I took a shower. I got dressed, threw on some shoes and a jacket, and went to the grocery store. I bought an apple and some cheese.

And then I came back, and made myself some lunch.

"Ho!" I said to myself. "Look at all I have accomplished today! I am, dare I say, productive!"

And then I took off my pants.

Because really.