Oh, those naughty aughties.

My primary activity this afternoon, apart from napping and noshing on Papa John's cheese sticks -- which, by the way, seem to contain some form of highly addictive crack, and should probably give rise to some deprivation-based New Year's resolution in which I promise to stop eating them only to suffer a midnight breakdown involving the nearest PJ franchise and a handgun, except that I never make New Year's resolutions, so nevermind -- has been watching the New Year's Eve posts roll in.

General consensus in blogland and elsewhere seems to be that this year was a lousy one, full of overseas terrorism and nasty white supremacists and economic doldrums and waaaaay too many Kanye West-related memes. Indeed, one of my favorite bloggers (and occasional drinking companion) is sending off 2009 with a staunch, one-fingered, and not undeserved "Fuck You". (Go give her some love, will you? She's had a rough year.)

For my part, though, the year has been a winning combination of hideous, hilarious, and heart-warming... and, because I still have a couple hours before I'm due for pizza and champagne with some dear friends, I've put together a linky look back at my favorite moments from January through right-now.

In 2009...

• I assembled a bookcase.
• I tried not to think about having sex with high school students.
• Through a stroke of luck that I still can't fully fathom, I landed the most wonderful writing gig in the world.
• I got catcalled... and then, I got angry at Assgobbler Von Cheesecrotch. Despite being a bit dense, he was a pretty good sport about it.
• Our rodent problem came to an unnerving conclusion.
• I parlayed my freelance, contract position into a full-time copywriting job. I came to regret it.
• A lot.
• But I was still rather cheesed at being laid off.
• I made a friend.
• The husband and I celebrated a marriage milestone, went someplace we'd always wanted to go, and vomited on the patio. (Okay, that last one was just me. And it was still awesome.)
• And, of course, I wrote my heart out.

It hasn't all been fabulous, but it's certainly been interesting -- for me, anyway, and hopefully for you. And although I'm a little bit poor, a little bit uncertain about what the next year will bring professionally, and more than a little afraid to take a vacation ever again, I'm still happy to lump it all in and give the past twelve months a sloppy, champagne-tinged kiss on the mouth as we ring in 2010.

Happy New Year! (You sexy motherfuckers.)