Comments on pink india ink: "Cara poked you with an olive branch on Facebook."...

Seems strange to apologize for something that she ...

2010-09-26T20:09:21.229+02:00

Seems strange to apologize for something that she did when she was 13, even if she was in the wrong. I mean, the statute of limitations on an apology was up long ago, like, 14 yrs ago. Seems strange that she would think you still care or that it matters anymore.

sounds like she's trying to assuage some guilt, but really, it's not your responsibility to help her with that 15 yrs later.

I'm glad you stood up for yourself. If you don...

2010-09-24T23:27:11.368+02:00

I'm glad you stood up for yourself. If you don't, who will.

This kind of happened to me once. I was friends with a guy who ended up dating my friend, and I couldn't even TALK to him without being accused of "flirting" with him. I was 12...

So I kind of know how you feel what with young teen girls blowing things out of proportion.
It's all in the past now.
Good on you!

It sounded hokey at the time - and still kind of d...

2010-09-24T19:23:57.460+02:00

It sounded hokey at the time - and still kind of does now - but maybe this is what my therapist meant when she said to 'listen to our inner child'. (Barf.)

In all seriousness though, I think it's important to honour (sorry, Canada here) the person you once were, even if you're not necessarily the same person anymore. And in case you're feeling some residual twinges of... something over the lack of response to your reply, you seem to have handled the situation with a certain level of self-awareness so I wouldn't sweat it. :)

Oh, teenagers. It's strange to see who hasn...

2010-09-23T17:55:48.104+02:00

Oh, teenagers.
It's strange to see who hasn't really grown out of that high school mindset. As much as it's good to go back & apologize for things that may have deeply hurt people in the past, it's another thing entirely to expect everyone to feel the same way as they did at the time or to think that they've "seen the error of their ways."

Good for you, sticking up for your teenage self! Teenagers usually need just that, even if it is retroactive, you know? ;)

I firmly believe that the teenage brain, boy or ho...

2010-09-23T14:53:08.812+02:00

I firmly believe that the teenage brain, boy or horse crazy as it may be, does not generally need to offer apologies. Though the adult brain that thought it was a good idea, at my friend's bridal shower when I was bored with her trashy stripper show in her living room, to invite my boyfriend over, bring him in through the backdoor, and let him, let's say arrest me (he was a cop and on duty and in uniform) in the bride's bedroom, only to be caught mid-arrest by the MOB, well that's not so easily explained. But the bride had introduced us so i blamed her for her bad judgement (whilst quietly thanking her for it!. Kat, some of us are born boy crazy and never grow out of it and that is why are husbands and boyfriends are so happy!

firstly, i love the title of your post. secondly, ...

2010-09-23T05:47:11.977+02:00

firstly, i love the title of your post. secondly, i once got an in-person apology from a bitch in h.s. and thinking about it now, I really regret accepting it. go loyalty to our former selves!
-Kris

Although you might have been scandalous for some h...

2010-09-23T00:21:49.235+02:00

Although you might have been scandalous for some horse loving 13 year old's, I love that you didn't apologize back. I thought your response was just enough "bite me" with enough "hope you're having a great life" mix to it.

I love that you didn't apologize. You didn'...

2010-09-22T23:22:55.443+02:00

I love that you didn't apologize. You didn't have anything to apologize for. My high school nemesis added me as a friend with no apologies. So I asked why she would want to be friends with someone she tormented in high school. She claimed she always thought I was cool. Memories are subjective.

That sounds so weird. Maybe I'm out of the loo...

2010-09-22T23:04:48.413+02:00

That sounds so weird. Maybe I'm out of the loop, but is it even a thing to care if a friend kisses another dude in your room? Having sex in your bed, sure, but kissing? How is that a "betrayal of trust"? Furthermore...kissing equated to sex for your old friends? What the hell? If I had a high school friend who was making out with dudes all the time (well, I did) I'd think she was boy crazy and sure, maybe a tad annoying, but I wouldn't think she was a whore.

You are definitely better off without those horse-lovin' crazy people! Good on you for sticking up for yourself.

Sometimes as we get older we have a sense of regre...

2010-09-22T16:26:07.444+02:00

Sometimes as we get older we have a sense of regret as a result of old high school behaviour and have a desire to apologize for our past behavior in a "see I am so much more mature now" and a "I don't want it to be akward if we run into each other" manner.

Unfortunately, notwithstanding that we regret the immature way we handled the past conflict, the hurt feeling were still real. As such, the apology often comes out as a qualified apology (i.e. I was immature, but you still had it coming).

My though is that if you are going to offer an apology, make it quick and unqualified one. And if you receive the H.S. apology, either accept it or ignore it. Qualifying either the apology or the acceptance of it, just confirms that no matter how much you mature,high school friends, frenemies and enemies can still bring out the high school in you (see: a certain episode of HIMYM).